the intangible truth about me

unsaid words have beautiful implications sometimes
but the words never said leave holes unplugged
and holes unplugged leave spaces for things unnecessary
like hurt and disappointment and excessive behaviour
and we could honestly do without all that

____

 

viola scrambled up the hill to meet Grandfather. it was the annual Turning of the Moon and it was her turn to get a chance to tap into the wisdom of Grandfather. all of her friends who had talked to Grandfather had their lives changed and she was excited to hear more.

“who’s there?” the voice bellowed as she knocked on the aged steel door. the house was a tincan, built by sticking metal plates together and piercing them together with recycled screws.

“it’s me, second daughter of the Alkans and saviour of the line” she recited the rehearsed lines her parents had taught her.

“what’s your name darling. i asked them to stop with this cultic nonsense, i’m too old for this ” he shouted back.

“viola, sir” she answered.

“ah yes, come on in.”

viola pushed open the door and looked straight up at Grandfather. he was a looming figure, with skin that glowed like a baby.

“you don’t look old at all” she said

“trust me , i am. now tell me how can i help you?” he asked back

“i’m not really sure how it goes from here. what do i need to know for life?” she questioned.

he pondered a bit. “give me your palm” he said.

she excitedly reached it out to him.

he scrubbed his finger across her palm. putting it back down, Grandfather closed his eyes . he stayed in the same position for a good five minutes before Viola felt awkward.

“Grandfather?” she asked.

his eyes jerked open. “oh you’re still here. well miss, i’m sorry but i have nothing for you”

she stared back at him hopelessly. “nothing , nothing at all? but you’re supposed to change my life. you’re supposed to tell me what i ought to do” she started to cry.

“who told you that? i’m here to help those who have problems with their lives. you have the weirdest problem of all, one that needs no solving” he said back monotonously. he got up and moved towards his teapot to pour himself a cup of hot jystern tea.

“jystern tea?” he asked her.

“i hate that old brew” she mumbled, her reservations put aside now.

“hate is a strong word miss.” he said and walked back with his tea.

“look, some people need a helping hand to push them where they need to go. you don’t. in fact, any advice at all on specifically how to live your life is a detriment to you – because you possess a spirit of willpower. ”

“spirit of willpower?”

“the rarest of its form. you move to action and ideation. anyone who tells you what to do negates the effect of your will – you must make your own way. your life is yours and yours alone – the decisions you make must be completely trusted by your inner soul. ”

” but there are definitely times where i won’t be sure about what to do”

“then be ready to make mistakes and lose some. but your mistakes will only build you up, and your losses will help you gain more. at the end of the day, you must own your life. you must be completely comfortable with it and your decisions”

“i am who i am. these feelings, these impulses – these are real, unchecked but natural. my desire to live the world, to see all that it has to offer – that is my drive. i get it now. ”

“and remember, do what you must when you must. ”

Viola looked back at grandfather. he didn’t look that old anymore.

“I’ll head out now” She said.

and with that Viola was ready to move on.

____

you close the curtains and just escape
i live this way you say

how about you try my way i ask back
and we try making our own way
we do what feels right. what feels nice

‘cos nice is a pretty nice way to feel.

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