You’re Just a Feeling

It felt cold all of a sudden. When he had first purchased it, it seemed like the warmest thing ever. It had glowed, no, sparkled like a radiant star. But all of a sudden , it had the look and feel of a frosted ice cube.

It could pass of as one; the diamond was a huge one. “No matter what doubts she had, the diamond will certainly overshadow them ” the dealer had joked. He had hoped there weren’t any doubts at all.

A slight breeze rushed past him. He turned towards the door. There she was, looking for him. He froze this moment in his head – he did that for significant moments in his life – and then took in her beauty.

“I’m here!” he waved towards her.

She looked back and smiled. Her hands reached to push her hair back behind her ear and then she placed them on her hips.

“Now what are we doing in such a fine place like this? I told you I’m happy with the local pizzeria near our place. ” she said with a cheeky smile.

“You’ll see – I’ve got something special ” he said back, and gave her a kiss on the lips.

“You look absolutely stunning today , you’re hitting a new standard” he said and then followed with a kiss on the forehead.

He always looked forward to her blush – a soft pink warmth on her cheeks.

“You and your surprises. It never stops with you , doesn’t it? ”

“As long as you’re with me, things can’t be boring. I won’t allow them to be. That was my promise”

She grabbed his hand tighter . “Alright, I’m hungry”

The restaurant was known for being the best in Italian cuisine in town. Impeccable service, unmatched experience and a fine diversity of flavones for the palate. They had talked without a single pause , yet the whole time his hand was on the stone ; the cold , hard stone.

“So what’s this surprise ? ” she said, teasingly.

“Well, you know how I love buildings. Did you know they had a helicopter landing pad built on top of this tower? ” he said.

Her face froze for a second. ” You didn’t! But how did you get permission?”

Without a second take she put out her finger to stop him. “You talked to Peter , didn’t you? That was the favor he owed you …”

“I’m calling in quite a bit of favors today” he thought to himself.

“Let’s go. The city awaits”. The stone felt a bit warmer .

“I see the hotel from here. Your name stands out pretty well. ” she shouted over the intercom .

They were snuggled up in the back seat of the copter. Their pilot was cruising slowly over the city and the night seemed almost perfect. She laid her head on his shoulder. He froze the moment. There will be more of these, he wished.

“Every time I see that hotel, I remember it’s always possible to dream. To wait for the right moment and to make the move then” he shouted back.

She nodded her head in agreement and kissed him on the lips.

“I love this! ” she shouted.

” Give us 5 more minutes and we can land, Billy” he said to the pilot .

He and she laid back and enjoyed the night even more – with only the sound of the copter’s wings spinning providing a soft rhythm.

“It can’t be. This was where you told me you loved me, I remember!” She shrieked.

“You know what’s coming then” he said, and knelt down on one knee. He looked at her, her long brown hair framing her beautiful face. Her hands covering her mouth in utterly pure glee. His hand reached out to the diamond ring, it’s warmth rushed back to it. He remembered why he spent so much on it – why it was only right.

” You’ve been nothing less than the best thing that has happened to me. When we met , I was reckless and ambitious – but you still believed in me. And you supported me. The things I’ve built can never compare to the one achievement I can never claim to be my own – finding you. You see , you’re the most beautiful person I’ve met. But before I met you, I was depressed with the mundane.

You taught me to find beauty in the simple, to seek wisdom and wealth rather than fame and riches. To be satisfied. Hunger only begets hunger. But with you , I know I can be happy. ”

She grabbed his hand and gleamed. “That’s really big” .

” You started out as just a feeling. And I’ve always listened to my gut – choosing to love you was the best decision I made. I can’t imagine a future without you .”

She bent down on her knees, her eyes level with his.

“Neither can I” she said, and locked her lips with his.

“Do you want to wear it? ” he asked her after they had finished.

She giggled and slid her finger into the ring. “It’s perfect. This is perfect”

“For you, if I didn’t give my best, I wouldn’t allow it.”

“I never needed your best, just your enough…. But this was good, this was nice.”

“Let’s go. We’ve got to share the good news”

—-

I’m just writing away. Don’t mind me – it’s how I deal with my feelings. Boy and Girl – an ideal state, but oh, if we never strived for the ideal , how we can achieve what’s great? The ideal comprises of the imperfections involved – the mixed feelings, the doubts , the fear . But the ideal knows that these will fade. Good is the enemy of great.

Geronimo

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midsummer prose

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an old nanny once said
When you need me but do not want me,
then I must stay.
But When you want me but no longer need me,
then I have to go.

The children were playing in Alexanderplatz. A street trickster was waving two sticks connecting a string form that released gleaming huge bubbles when dipped in soapy water.

“2 Euros and you can try it” he told the young blonde girl watching intently.

She reached into the pocket in her frock, meddled around and finally pulled out a shining coin. She reached out and placed it into the tricksters hand, following which a trade was made with the sticks. Excited, she quickly placed the string form into the soapy water and waved the sticks around, releasing nothing but a soft pop.

“Do it slowly” the trickster instructed her.

She tried it again, this time taking a better look at the way the sticks were attached. She dipped the string form into the water, and in a graceful motion , waved the sticks releasing a beautiful large bubble.

I watched that bubble float – sparkling in its own way, with the soft sun creating a plethora of colours for my sight. It was absolutely beautiful; the way it moved and the way it was singing its own song. Then, as a gust of wind blew through the Platz, the bubble was no more.

It had popped.

Three words. So final, yet so curt and traumatic.
—-

I’m not supposed to take this summer so seriously. I was supposed to come to Europe, to enjoy myself and learn more about the world and myself. To prove things about me that I know true and to challenge things about myself I hope to change.

But it seems like I can’t do that. Not with feelings like these that make no sense at all. There’s a mix of joy and familiarity, of indulgence with hints of love and yet there’s also jealousy and caution. This summer will come to an end, and when it does, consequences will follow.

I don’t want summer to be a bubble. I want it to be a horizon, a trajectory for something bigger. All I can do is to keep on writing , and dreaming . And that kills me inside.

why Singapore needs more stories

it’s finally here. 2nd of August. The day I fly to Germany, and then take an additional two weeks to backpack around Europe for a bit. I’ve been waiting for this long holiday for a long time. In order to get here though, there was a lot of closure that had to be done. I had to find a strong core team to take over The Hidden Good, I had to settle all my college and scholarship administrative matters , and I had to meet up with all my friends again before I fly off.

So yes, I managed to find a lovely partnership with Gushcloud that allows The Hidden Good to run and an amazing team to make sure things run smoothly after. I managed to close all my outstanding administrative matters. I managed to meet up with most of my friends. And the thing that came reiterating itself through these processes was the memory of things past. The stories that caused the present; the adventures and the decisions.

It was when I was at Gushcloud’s Office Opening , when Willie and Vincent , two entrepreneurs I deeply admire and now have the pleasure of being partners with, and they were sharing core stories that brought them to the establishment that was the office at 625 Toa Payoh Lor 4, ¬†that i realised I too would share my own stories someday and would hope that they inspire a new layer of initiative and empowerment. And what if were able to bring these stories together in a good way – in a way that Singaporeans could be proud of.

We remember the Singapore of old because of the multitude of stories and the materials captured in the history books. Struggles, battles, deaths and sacrifices. But if anyone was to write a story on Singaporeans in the past 30-40 years, what would we write about? We need to keep creating history, to keep creating national memories. Right now, we’re nostalgic and remembering things from the 50s-60s. But are we are caring about profiling the memories we make now?

There are some that are capturing these stories, but I still think the missing ingredient is a good taste. No one has captured the heart of the Singaporean through his/her prose just yet , but more should try to. In their own way. A Singapore rich in its stories, find its people sharing these stories in times of doubt or conflict. These are what make a society.

I’ll continue making my own stories. I don’t really like the idea of YOLO – i think the concept of living once both liberates and constricts in so many way. But I do believe in Carpe Diem – in seizing the day . In living. And with those stories, I hope to continue to add to my wealth – of knowledge and application. And make the world a better place

geronimo