we start by identifying that we’re all imperfect. that there’s an infinite flaw in each one of us, a regression that cannot be fixed, but instead worsens with time. and I’ve realised that it’s prevalent. people display it quite prominently – and of course, to some one’s flaws are instead an adorable quirk but we’ll call a rose a rose in this case.
i believe i have quite a few flaws. many in fact, i’d go so far as to say I’m heavily flawed. but one of my biggest flaws is my constant dissatisfaction. i’m a very happy and undepressed person, don’t get me wrong. i’ve found joy in so many people and places. but yet there’s a longing to do more – i want to fix things, to solve problems.
i want to create beautiful things. i want to do , to be.
i want the Singapore music scene to throb with its own culture, for us to be able to export it. i want Singaporeans to create their own future rather than depend on corporate or governmental entities. i want the world to listen to itself once in a while. i want education to be free – for people to get the opportunity to access resources. most importantly, i don’t want anyone to die or suffer because of a lack of access to basic healthcare and services.
there’s so much i want to do, and i realise I can’t solve all the world’s problems. i learnt that a long time ago.and that’s should be the starting point for all of us.
to realise what are the problems we want to solve. what are the pains that we want to live with? my hope is that our generation chooses pains that are worth living for – not selfish, ephemeral ones, but pains that require effort and thought to reconcile.
i think i’ve had my heart and soul broken so many times in the past 6 months .
but i don’t mind.
i really don’t
because i know that these things are part and parcel of the goals i’m building towards. to build a better society.
if you’re not having your soul tested regularly, then maybe it’s time to consider that your life is a bit too comfortable. it’s okay to be comfortable, it’s okay to sit in a comfortable chair and read a book – i do that a lot. but consider your life as a runway – there’s going to have to be a point where you’ll want to start flying.
find your pain.
i think by the very nature that i want to solve so many problems, i get regular bouts of migraines as i consider ideas to reconcile them. most of them are transient and i toss them away. the rest i store .
and one day i hope that i can make progress in solving these problems. i know myself. i get to my destinations – it may take a while but i’ll get there. trust God.
and always, always