the reason why i’ll be abit more quiet

i met someone interesting today. i met a full-on entrepreneur. he’s rich, he’s confident, he’s full of passion – and no matter the amount of backstory we’re missing, he had made critical change in the world and his environment.

he was high-octane.

i thought about it abit more , and realised two things: 1) this guy probably doesn’t have a girlfriend. he can’t have anyone holding him when he’s moving so fast. 2) this guy probably goes out to network; how often does he hang out with his legitimate friends?

at that moment, i realised i could be like him if i wanted to. there were all the perks – living a passion-filled life, making big change, living large etc.

but there’s always been a part of me that wants to stay traditional in a sense – i want a relationship that lasts longer than 3 months, i want a family, a legacy and i don’t know if i can wait till i’m 35 for that.

the conflict has always been between the two. and today i decided rather than finding a torturous balance – i’ll choose one over the other.

it’s hard because the only person that would have and still probably can keep me away has self-declared things to be too complicated to handle. there’s way too many moving factors and emotions involved in this mess that only clarity without mask can break the silence. if not, there’s no reason to pursue, to get any more involved.

a good friend of mine told me “don’t get into anything that is complicated right from the get-go”.

i didn’t listen at first because i thought there was a shot. now i’m not so sure.

i believe in one-off opportunities, i don’t believe things will come back the same way we want them to in the future.

i hope i made the right decision




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